1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
