I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize