Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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