You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
