Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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