i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
