dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
