You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
