I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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