You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
