She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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