and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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