Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
