I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Can I color on your dick again?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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