dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
