I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
