The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
