We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i believe in u and ur pee
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
