theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize