You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
