So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize