Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
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