what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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