Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
