Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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