All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
