New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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