I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
