Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
