Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
