his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
