If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
