All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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