IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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