I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
vagina is talking i cant
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
you made out with another girl for some wings
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
