True but thats because hes a fetus.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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