Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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