So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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