no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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