New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
