There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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