pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
