Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
