well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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