If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
