You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have fence marks all over my body
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize