It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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