Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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