I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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