She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
