KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
