You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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