I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Randomize
