I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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