So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
