i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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