no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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