if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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