I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
