i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
